May I Have Your Attention Please

(Theme song.)

Warning:  It’s about to get real.  Like real vulnerable.  So if you like the shiny picture of me that you currently have, skip this post because I’m about to give you a peek into my dark side.

I have mentioned that contrary to popular belief, I have faults.  Only a few though so don’t get crazy and start pointing them out.   Yesterday I was smacked in the face with one of them.

Have you ever felt super cute and thought, “I wish someone would see me that mattered so my cuteness wouldn’t be wasted”?  Hair was falling just right, tan was rockin from my recent vacation, new outfit fit perfectly, accessories were just right and the colors were all working together to bring out my new tan…I was feeling great!  Of course the person that I wanted to see me was my boyfriend but he lives about two hours away so I was going down the line of other men in my life that are close that would recognize the mojo I was working.  Then I thought, “WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? Why must I seek the approval from others, namely men?”  I guess we all do it to some extent or there wouldn’t be a need for selfies and Instagram and Facebook but I know that’s one of the areas I would like to work on so my happiness doesn’t hinge on other people.  I had to remind myself all day that me knowing that my hard work at the gym and eating right was paying off and that was enough.   I need approval from no one else.  Period.

Maybe I didn’t get enough attention from my dad as a child so I crave that male attention (no fault of my dad’s…he was awesome and did the best he knew to do at the time…love you dad).  Maybe I was just PMS-ing.  Maybe I’m just lonely from coming off of a week of being touched and loved on on vacation.  It helps to know these things about myself and try to pinpoint why so I can start to correct.  I can be better every day and that’s always my goal:  be better than I was yesterday.  Eat better; think better; love better.   Former Secretary of State John Foster Dulles said, “The measure of success is not whether you have a tough problem to deal with, but whether it is the same problem you had last year.”  I don’t want to go back.  I’m looking forward to a brighter and better future with less tears and cellulite and more smiles.  I was happy before, don’t get me wrong, but I wasn’t fulfilled.  I am realizing that can only come from within.  It doesn’t come from dessert or margaritas or compliments from anyone else (male or female).

“I have found what I have been looking for all my life has been with me all along.”

What can you do today better than you did yesterday? How are you leaving the world a better place?

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