I walked past our receptionist’s desk yesterday and saw an orange and an apple. I know she’s been going to the gym and watching what she eats so I told her I was proud of her for her healthy snacks. She responded with a grumble. I was puzzled. She said she just hated eating healthy…that it wasnt what she really wanted. I asked her to remind me of her age and she said she’s 27. I said “I thought like that when I was 27 too” and went on my way.
That night I thought maybe I came off as smug or condescending and decided I would try to make it right today. So this morning I walked in and went directly to her desk with head hung and apologized. She had absolutely no idea what I was talking about and said I did not offend her. I continued anyways and explained that I should have been less smug and more helpful. I told her that I used to feel the same way. The key for me was deciding it was a lifestyle change and not a diet. When I did that, I no longer chose foods because they were on some approved list. I chose foods that I like and that are good for my body. Garbage in, garbage out, right? How could I feel good when I wasn’t giving my body the proper fuel. The reason I felt sluggish and grumpy and had insane heartburn was because my body was mad at me.
She listened. I gave some examples to try to be helpful instead of smug, but I remember what it was like at the beginning of my journey….several times. I would see no movement on the scales eventhough I felt I was doing everything right. Frustrated. Defeated. Accepting of the fact that I would always look this way and thank GOD I had someone that loved me anyways. Well I was wrong (mark it down because it might not happen again) and I’m glad I was. Something clicked. I believed in myself. I started to put myself first. I pushed harder than I thought I could go and I started to feel better when I ate better and I took note of that. Each time I would slip into my old ways I wouldn’t feel as good as when I was doing what I knew I should and I took note of that.
Maybe one day she’ll look back and remember what I said and apply it. Maybe she’ll think “that smug bitch” (because that’s what I would have said in the past). I hope the former but I can only control me and my reaction and I was only trying to help because I care.